Tales of a (Mostly) Introvert
Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? You probably have. I have. I remember taking it and my score coming out to nearly 50% introvert and 50% extrovert, with introvert dominating. It was surprising to me when I relayed my results to multiple friends, the mixed reviews I received:
“You are definitely an introvert,” said one friend matter-of-factly.
“You? An introvert? But you’re so social!” said another friend, astonished.
My ability to be social is a switch I can flip on and off. More often than not, I’d rather leave the switch off and stay in my own head. One thing I discovered while traveling abroad was my true capacity to maintain my extrovertedness. It’s no shock to anyone who traveled with me, but I was terrified to go to Hong Kong. On days (really weeks) leading up to the trip, I kept nervously asking my husband, “Tell me again why I decided to do this?” as I thought about leaving my home for weeks at a time (and all four of my animals, one dog and three cats, that I am truly obsessed with).
Why was I doing this trip? Well, aside from that one time I spent one night camping, I’ve never really left my comfort zone. I’m a domesticated creature (think of a well-fed cat who has never stepped foot outside). Other people have traveled abroad, leaving for weeks at a time with nothing more than a backpack on their shoulders and somehow they survived (or so they claim). I wanted to test my limits. International travel sounds desirable to many, but could I do it? Me? The (mostly) introverted, homebody, who says things like, “I should really get home to my dog,” when I just don’t want to talk to people anymore.
One of the most astonishing things I learned about myself was that I was able to do it – “it” meaning survive studying abroad. I understand, if you are natural extrovert, going to Hong Kong for two weeks with group of relatively familiar people, does not sound challenging at all. In fact it probably sounds fun. However, if you are an introvert who typically gets at least few hours of alone time each day, would generally prefer not to talk to people and is slightly fearful of every new thing they try – this trip could have been your worst nightmare.
I was lucky I had such an amicable roommate. She encouraged me every morning to get up, embrace the day and try not to complain. I kept saying, “I must be driving you crazy.” She kept saying, “I am working on my patience during this trip.”
Every day we spent in Hong Kong was a full day. Wake up, get going, eat, see things, learn, eat, explore, eat, keep going, eat, sleep, repeat. I had no alone time. There was always someone new talking to me. There were no cats or dogs in my shared dorm room to go home to for stress relief. No bedroom door to close for solitude. At no point could I have gotten away with saying, I had to leave because I needed to get home to my dog. Halfway through the trip I had no idea how I was going to make it. But here’s the thing – I had no choice but to make it.
Studying abroad really pushed me to open up. I made new friends because I was constantly talking to people. I learned and saw so much, because I was always out doing something. I stood up to the anxious voice in my head that said, “No, no, no!” because I put myself in a position where I had to.
How has this experience changed my approach to my life? I’m more willing to say “Yes” now. I figure I’ll say yes now and deal with the consequences later. I’ll put myself in a position where I have to be an extrovert and deal with it once it happens. I discovered the more I turn on my extrovert side, the easier it is to maintain.