Inward Growth through Outward Exploration
I’ve had a taste for adventure since before I can remember – strapped to my mother’s back while she hiked National Parks. My father’s military career required my family to move multiple times during my childhood exposing me to diverse sub-cultures and experiences. Some of my favorite memories as a child include sneaking into the abandoned air force base across the street in New Jersey, playing in a hurricane in Texas with my brother, and throwing myself into huge waves in the Gulf of Mexico.
As a high schooler I continued to embrace the mystery of our wonderful universe. I hiked the beautiful Cleveland Metro parks at night in thunderstorms, traveled down winding rivers flowing into Lake Erie, and went cliff jumping into a freshwater quarry alive with jellyfish. During these adventures I lived purely in the now.
Since I found my true passion during my sophomore year of undergrad, I threw myself 100% into the field of applied sustainability. Although I still enjoyed myself, I noticed a hungry drive replace some of the playful spirit I once had. I thought, ‘There is no time to play when the world I love so dearly is falling apart!’ Ironically, I won an award in undergrad for ‘Best Work-Life Balance’. This award speaks to the illusion of masks we wear which are sometimes so good they even fool ourselves!
Over the last year I became aware of this unhealthy shift through conversations with friends and self-reflection. I noticed my desire to have a regenerative impact on communities back home in the Rust Belt was overshadowing my own personal health. My desire to serve others was ironically negatively impacting me and I didn’t even know it. No longer did I make much time to totally disconnect from work and fully connect with myself, nature or others. My brain was usually in work mode (focused and intense) and rarely in play mode (relaxed and free).
This year I realized I had to prioritize my own personal happiness or I would never be a successful change maker. I made more time to hang out with friends, travel, play, and challenge myself. But as a recovering workaholic I still have a long way to go. Before I found my passion I wasn’t a driven person and instead I simply lived in the moment with little regard for the future. Now I’m on a mission to do what I have yet to achieve in my 24 years – strike a lasting balance between feeling freely authentic and also having a large positive impact in the communities I love.
This is part of the reason I decided to sign up for a study abroad trip to the UK and Denmark. This program is a perfect fit because my passion for urban system sustainability aligned with the program’s research focus of urban agriculture boosting community resilience. During this trip I am going to work on balancing work and play. I will reflect through meditation and conversation on drivers of my behavior and strategies to change it so I am better prepared to start my professional life balanced and happy.
Many people retire or die before they realize they are out of balance and didn’t live their lives as joyfully as they could have. For this reason, I’m grateful to my friends and family for helping me realize I was prioritizing a life of external service above myself and my relationships. I’m looking forward to continuing this inward journey through exploring the UK and Denmark with my group!